if you get there before i do, dont give up on me.

friends came back.
awesome.
started spending all my time with them.
awesome.
ditched God the second they got to town.
not awesome.

i had a nightmare last night. felt so real. in the dream, i got sick & found out i had a month to live. its been bothering me all day. hope it never comes true. ever.
back to school booty whoever cookout last night was great. like one big reunion. so glad to be back with everyone. in the same town again. so thankful for laughter and friends. thank you wislon boys for good times had by all.

feeling a weight on my chest today. slow breaths. in & out. blink once. three times. paint a smile on. fake a laugh. everything is okay. appearing.

learning.
1. doing things selflessly, out of unconditional love, expecting nothing in return. being prepared to be ignored...mocked...disliked.
2. you cant go backwards. only forward.
3. stop looking for someone to love. fall in love with the one who created the someone.
4. accept that some people will never forget your past.
5. God's forgiveness set me free.

no one ever said learning was easy. no one ever said it would be this hard.

ive been waiting for 6 months to hear the words "i forgive you".
i just now am learning that i dont need to.
God forgives me every day for it.
that is enough.

tomorrow..... my last first day of school.
class on tues & thurs only.
8:00 photog. 11:00 graphic design 3
no mwf = 4 day weekends.
that must be the reward for going to school for 5 years.
yay for being a senior..... again.

this is a new year. a new life. a chance to do it different.

until next time. peace & love.


look:
at people through the eyes of Jesus.
to build new relationships
http://lgphotography.blogspot.com/

listen:
First Time - lifehouse
Misery Business - paramore
Amazing Because It Is - the almost
Almost Lover - a fine frenzy
Keep It Loose, Keep It Tight - amos lee
Boondocks - little big town

read:
ephesians
Time magazine

love:
God
yourself
others


this is a quote i stumbled across. it really doesnt apply to my life right now bc i am not resenting anyone. but it speaks a great truth.

When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free. -catherine ponder