small town girl in a big city.

Thursday, March 27, 2008

girl america.

i have listened to this song of mat's for years now, since the first time he laid it down as a track when writing West in November in the nashy....it's been tweaked & changed instrumentally a few times now, but the lyrics have been solid from square one. i can honestly say that i think it is one of the most beautifully written songs i've ever heard.

My girl America is just a youth in this world
Her smile is more precious than the sparkle of pearls
And though her age reads she's just a young girl
The age behind her eyes show the pain that she's swirled
Through the hand that's been dealt though it's quiet as kept
The weight that she felt last night when she slept
And as she crept into the dreams of the things of her past
Seems to have grown so fast, way beyond her own class
Though they're right there with her, her brothers and her sisters
A natural born leader even when her peers dis her
My girl, she's at a crossroads, people praying for her
Some are preying on her magazine ads, sex, drama
Smoking marijuana, longing for a father to call her, 'daughter'
She's part of a generation longing for reconciliation
And this future that they're facing and this poison that they're tasting
My girl, I know this love you're chasing

My girl America's crying when she's lying on her bed at night
I can see that she's screaming when she's dreaming for her freedom
My girl America's dying while she's trying just to stop this fight
Don't stop believing, my girl America

Boys with hungry eyes have been beating her door
Telling her that's what she's for, trying to rob at her core
Then leave calling her a whore, but still she knows there's more
I know she knows there's more because there is a voice she can't ignore
'Cause it was founded in the foundations, from the day of her creation
In God we trust engraved on the treasures of her nation
And the void that the boys can't fill
With the tipping of the bottle or the popping of the pill
But still most of her friends don't care as they glare
Ready to drown down the funnel as they frown down the tunnel
They stumble and they tumble breaking down into rubble
My girl America, stop can't you see
It's not the circumstances that determine who you're gonna be
But how you deal with these problems and pains that come your way
It's for you that I pray with hope for a brighter day
And so I say, your deliverance is coming

Faith like a child from your first birth
You left it in the dirt on your worst hurt
And I see each tear and every scar
The hands that have held you where you are
And I can see we've strayed so far
A king born under that morning star
As a crown of thorns was placed to earase
Each tear that's touched your face
And his palms and sides were pierced with spears
He hung in love just to draw you near
My girl, out of this whole world
Can't you see this is where we started?

-mat kearney

Sunday, March 16, 2008

i am.

I am ridiculously blessed :: constantly reminded of that every day.
I am at the beach with some of my best friends :: 15 of us in 1 condo.
I am very thankful for john howard dawson :)

everything under the stars is in Your arms.
-mat kearney

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

blackbird, fly.

i had my interview in charleston yesterday. on folly beach. with one of my favorite local photographers. long story short... I GOT THE JOB! :) i will be moving in mid-may to my favorite city. a beautiful ending to a broken beginning.

if anyone still reads this (besides the lovely jordan dunn) hear me on this.... college holds the best years of your life, even in the worst of times. if you're lucky, those years will be 5 fold.

that is my thought for the day.

Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to arise
-the beatles

Thursday, March 6, 2008

joan of ark.

In a previous blog i mentioned that I was reading SexGod by Rob Bell. that it was screwing with my head. it became emotionally exhausting. draining me. i went from reading it every chance i got.... to abandoning it altogether. not because i was bitter or disappointed. i just had to set it aside. think through things. process what he was saying. gain perspective before coming back. becoming swallowed whole by this beautifully written piece of work. i picked it back up today. full of anticipation. like an eager child listening to a story. hanging onto every word. tasting almost as sweet as honey (or cotton candy). i see this book as one of restoration. it brings back truths that i buried deep the older i got. the more boys i liked. through relationships & experiences. one solitary heartbreak. far from clean. more messy than imagined. tangled and twisted. i appreciate being broken now. learning only God can mend me. love me flawlessly. unconditionally. constantly. to read this book and be reminded that i am not just a girl who deserves a good guy. but a daughter of a king. i should be treated as royalty. and i should treat people the way my Father raised me to. intended for me to. it is trial & error. and that sucks. ill be the first to say it. trial & error is never easy. it is ridiculously violent. you come out with battle scars. wounds. broken bones. mangled hearts. it's a war. we just have to realize we are fighting the wrong one. that is another blog for another day though. in the end, i have learned something very important: never ever settle.

never settle.
never ever.
there is a reward.
a beautiful ending to your story.
when the fight is over.
and all blood has been shed.
there is a reward.
stop fighting.
never settle.
it's coming.

ill let you know when ive found it.

God, let her listen
With ears to the ground.
Let voiceless approval
Turn into sound.
-sleeping at last

Saturday, March 1, 2008

go & do.

I remember a story about a young man walking up to God and saying, "God, there is much pain in the world. Are you going to end poverty, malnutrition, oppression, violence and indifference?" God whispers in return, "Of course. I created you."
-a.c. boyd

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

a land not sown.

recently, I realized how self-absorbed I have been. Yes, I am busy with an internship, senior seminar, work, weddings, baby showers, etc. I am never too busy though. Just selfish. i am lacking in perfection. and i always will be. i did used to pray about decisions before i would make them. i know that my judgement alone is not enough. it doesnt stop me from thinking i am invincible & always right. i am constantly reminded that neither of the two are true. it's nice to be humbled every once in a while. it's necessary even. i learned this while reading in Jeremiah the other day. the nation of israel forsakes God. rebels & defiles the One who gave the people the land. fruit. harvest. life. when they forsake God, He curses their nation. their children & their children's children. so on & so forth. Our God is one of grace. mercy. love. but we forget about His wrath. it is then that we begin to forsake Him, turning away from what is holy & right. living for ourselves. i am too often the nation of israel. lacking in child-like faith and discipline.

i remember the devotion of your youth, how as a bride you loved me & followed me through the desert, through a land not sown. -jer. 2:2