surprise.

i got an awesome surprise today. and i am very hard to surprise. i always figure it out. however, i love surprising other people. i have only successfully been surprised twice before this time. one involving waking up to puppies. the other was on the day i returned from a summer spent in nashville. when i was a junior in high school, a surprise party was thrown for me & my brother forgot to go inside & tell everyone i was here. so i walked into the sight of liz standing in my kitchen eating the catered food from Taco Casa. she stared at me blankly & said "surprise." people dont even attempt surprising me. however. today took the cake. it was pulled off in true jamie form. i now can say i have had 3 amazing surprises and i loved each of them. here is the story.

grier leaves at the end of june to move to tupelo, mississippi. i spend a lot of time with her before she leaves. debbie & i take her to lunch the day before she hits the road. the entire time im joking about she better come back & not stay down there. three weeks into it, she calls to tell me she is not coming back. i cried. she cried. but i told her i loved her & if she was happy there & felt that she was doing what God wanted her to do & what she loved, then i was happy for her. i go to nasvhille this past weekend & the whole time im missing beansy & grier bc they were there with me last summer & they both left for far away places this summer (tupelo & new orleans). grier tells me she has a present for me & ill get it in a few days. i assume its coming FedEx.

today im sitting at work at the front desk. it was a very slow day. i happen to be texting jacob about dinner plans tonight, when someone walks in the lobby. i dont look up and i say "can i help you?". the person doesnt answer, they just clear their throat (examples: kate. & sara jessica parker in the family stone). i look up & there standing in front of me in Miss Grier Caroline Parrott. i thought i was seeing things. seriously. i just sat there looking confused. and she said "Jame". and i screamed (yes. screamed. ask the girls i work with) "Lord Jesus in Heaven" because i thought i had seen a ghost.

after hugging. and crying (how lame am i) and more hugging. and screaming. we left and went to greenville to surprise debbie, which was hilarious. she is not going back. she is staying here. and i am so so so happy that she is back :)

beansy also got back today from new orleans! she moves back to atown on friday and i CANNOT FREAKIN WAIT!! :)

tonight we were sitting at 515 in mine & kate's old room (which is now amber & jess'). almost all of us. the family.... me. grant. B. jess. kate. amber. grier. jacob. tyler. even rae was there. it was awesome. grant & i were sitting there beside each other just watching everyone laugh & tell stories. then grant said exactly what i was thinking "its so good to be back".

i am so thankful for friends. & surprises.

the parade got rained on later tonight when i got home & was just thinking about stuff & reading emails. sometimes i feel like im coming undone, little by little. is that just me? i feel displaced in a sense. i feel like a stranger to certain things. what is that feeling. i can physically feel it in my chest. it's as if someone set a brick right on my chest. it is taking everything in me to breathe up & down... in & out. all of my strength.

God please help me get back up. dont let these bricks weight me down. show me peace. teach me strength. let your love abound in & through me.


We praise love over wisdom, forgetting that wisdom teaches us how to love. We want success over patience and wealth of every sort over poverty of any kind. We would rather be faithless than judged—would rather be in a relationship of an unhealthy bent than alone and deep down dreamless if it would prevent the ache of desire from sneaking up and staying behind. Avoid pain, avoid loss, avoid need. Always forgetting that we are vessels, not simply pure content. -laura willis