im battling something deep within my heart and i dont even have words to describe it. however, i will give you a preface to the situation. i have been praying for months for God to teach me how to love unconditionally and trust Him, as well as people. i think that child-like faith caused me to assume that since i was asking God to give me trust & love, two things he desired for me, that they would just be given.... i just had to wait. I went & saw Evan Almighty the other night and there was a part of the movie where morgan freeman ("God") said something like "When we ask for courage, we are not just given it... we are given situations that allow us to be courageous". In the past few weeks, God told me to love someone that i was hesitant to love. i told God "are you serious? ill love anyone else, just not that person" bc i knew it was hard. He said "you want to learn to love unconditionally? then trust me. love that person. genuinely." so i did. and amazing things happened. i have been praying lately for God to teach me the depth of GRACE in full. so He gave me a situation where i could choose to offer grace or choose to hold a grudge. i am battling this because i feel so passive. for now i will pray and listen. i will practice grace and ask God to plant seeds from that.... blooming into something beautiful.
this is an excerpt from an article in this month's issue of RELEVANT magazine. God is always communicating to us in different ways. we just have to stop and listen.... or read.
Often my little Christian world prides itself in being the model of ethical behavior. I am not sure that we can honestly wear the armor and carry the sword of moral authority, because they do not always fit us. Instead I believe we are called to lay down our weapons and dance gracefully in the battle zone.
We are called to avoid choosing sides in personal vendettas for the sake of loving all people. We are called to navigate the places of strife with the words of peace. We are called to help the defenseless in the moment of their greatest need and to cease throwing stones even when stones are deserved. We are called to speak words of truth even if those words defend non-Christians and call Christians to repentance. I believe that this is what dancing in the battle zone looks like, and I believe we are all called to such ministry.
Demons of bitterness or fear in our own hearts are the real ghosts of which we should be wary. Overcoming them gives us freedom to dance in the battle zone—like Jesus did.
-phil wyman (relevant)