and it spread.

I used to feel as if i was drowning. bobbing in rough waters, being tossed back and forth by an angry sea. grasping for something, anything that would pull me out of the water. it really is true what they say, you have to lose everything to find it; to find Him. it's worth it though. all that time spent lost at sea. in the end, it is worth it. when He pulls you out of the cold, harsh water. He had no intent of letting you drown. it actually pained Him to watch you suffer like that, but He couldnt help you until you asked for it. He repairs and makes everything new & beautiful again. Then came the breath of fresh air & it was him who taught me to love life once more. to look at the moon & the stars. listen to classical music & NPR. see new places & enjoy new things.

one year & 7 months later, im still learning from him. about books, football, history and music. those are my favorite things that we share with each other.

Bob Dylan once said:

"I consider myself a poet first and a musician second.
I live like a poet and I'll die like a poet."

I think that the Avett Brothers are the closest thing to fit that statement since Dylan. Their words are as beautiful as the music they make. i needed this song. ive been searching for it, waiting for it, even before it was ever written.

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There was light in the room
Then you left and it was through
Then the frost started in
My toes and fingertips

And it spread into my heart

Then for I don't know how long
I settled in to doing wrong
And as the wind fills the sail
Came the thought to hurt my self

And it spread into my home
And it spread
And it spread into my soul

Well there are no lines
Separating the truth from the lies

Then you came back from space
With a brand new laugh and a different face
You took my hand and held it up
And shot my arm full of love

And it spread
And it spread into the world.

-the avett brothers

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dearest howard,

you are the new laugh, the different face.
thank you for holding my hand.

- me